You texted me last night telling me you couldn’t sleep and that you missed me. This was the third time you told me you missed me.

What are we? Please tell me soon, because I maybe be falling for you again. And I don’t want to lose the remaining shards of my heart.

marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:


A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.

marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:

A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!

Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.

My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”

THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.

THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.

it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.

Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.

On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?

Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:

I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”

Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.

Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.

robthedrumcorpsian:

prbuick11:

thosewerethe90s:

yaoibutterfly:

rah-b-loved:

inkyblacknight:

paradoxsocks:

ihavemjolnirinmypants:

withoutapresspass:

cyborglovesong:

image

UNITEDSTATESCANADAMEXICOPANAMALKFHDSHFSDKJCNOIDSUHFISUFN:SD

I AM GOING TO MAKE LEARNING THIS THE OBJECT OF MY LIFE.

I always lose it at Cota Rica. 

I ALREADY KNOW THIS BY HEART

United States, Canada,
Mexico, Panama,
Haiti, Jamaica, Peru;
Republic Dominican,
Cuba, Carribean,
Greenland, El Salvador too.
Puerto Rico, Columbia,
Venezuela,
Honduras, Guyana, and still;
Guatemala, Bolivia,
then Argentina,
and Ecuador, Chile, Brazil.
Costa Rica, Belize,
Nicaragua, Bermuda,
Bahamas, Tobago, San Juan;
Paraguay, Uruguay,
Suriname, and
French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam.
Norway, and Sweden,
and Iceland, and Finland,
and Germany now one piece;
Switzerland, Austria,
Czechoslovakia,
Italy, Turkey, and Greece.
Poland, Romania,
Scotland, Albania,
Ireland, Russia, Oman;
Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia,
Hungary,
Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran.
There’s Syria, Lebanon,
Israel, Jordan,
both Yemens, Kuwait, and Bahrain,
the Netherlands, Luxembourg,
Belgium, and Portugal,
France, England, Denmark, and Spain.
India, Pakistan,
Burma, Afghanistan,
Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan;
Kampuchea, Malaysia,
then Bangladesh, Asia,
and China, Korea, Japan.
Mongolia, Laos,
and Tibet, Indonesia,
the Philippine Islands, Taiwan;
Sri Lanka, New Guinea,
Sumatra, New Zealand,
then Borneo, and Vietnam.
Tunisia, Morocco,
Uganda, Angola,
Zimbabwe, Djibouti, Botswana;
Mozambique, Zambia,
Swaziland, Gambia,
Guinea, Algeria, Ghana.
Burundi, Lesotho,
and Malawi, Togo,
The Spanish Sahara is gone;
Niger, Nigeria,
Chad, and Liberia,
Egypt, Benin, and Gabon.
Tanzania, Somalia,
Kenya, and Mali,
Sierra Leone, and Algier;
Dahomey, Namibia,
Senegal, Libya,
Cameroon, Congo, Zaire.
Ethiopia, Guinea_
Bissau, Madagascar,
Rwanda, Mahore[?], and Cayman;
Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi,
Qatar, Yugoslavia,
Crete, Mauritania,
then Transylvania,
Monaco, Liechtenstein,
Malta, and Palestine,
Fiji, Australia, Sudan!

reblogging for the lyrics.

OwO

I lose it after Peru.  like, I can’t even follow the lyrics.  I just sit in awe of it.

robthedrumcorpsian

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy