I get this lovely feeling inside of me when I remember that my own fucking mother loves the dog more than she loves me.

Just makes me want to paint in silver and red :)

textpostsandcats:

being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you

Yea but have to drive that amazing smelling pizza all over the place and you don’t even get ONE bite. :(

smileshide-scarythings:

Remember when people used to buy texts on cell phones? Like you got 1000 texts a month. Soon kids will ask why it’s called unlimited because they’ll think it was always unlimited lol

These are named after MONSTERS are you KIDDING ME if I don't get at least one of these I'm going to be very disappointed

  • Vampire: Someone offers you a chance at immortality. Do you take it, and why or why not?
  • Werewolf: If you had to spend your life with just one person, who would it be?
  • Witch: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
  • Ghost: Do you have any regrets?
  • Frankenstein: Is someone telling you how to live your life, or are you an independent person?
  • Mummy: If you were to fall into an eternal sleep, do you think anyone would miss you?
  • Zombie: Do you miss anyone right now?
  • Faerie: If you could get away with anything, what would you do?
  • Nymph: What are you like when you’re by yourself?
  • Mermaid: How far would you go to keep the one you love?
  • Shapeshifter: What would you change about yourself?
  • Banshee: If you knew one of your loved ones/best friends had only one day left to live, how would you spend that last day with them?
  • Siren: If you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do?
  • Genie: If you had one wish that would come true and couldn’t be reversed, what would you ask for?
  • Fury: What is a word/phrase that you dread to hear?
  • Incubus: What would someone have to do to get in your pants?
  • Succubus: What’s one thing you can’t live without?